UGGGG…. the holiday’s are here and here comes all the joy and cheer.
I wasn’t always this way around the holidays. I used to love the Christmas lights and music, family and friends getting together and playing games (plus all the yummy food) and I even used to get excited for all the Christmas cards to cover my fridge.
However, surviving the holidays while trying to get pregnant is harder than I thought it would be.
From Thanksgiving to Christmas and through to the New Year, what do you find at the center of all 3 of those holidays? Family gatherings and adorable family Christmas cards that you have always wanted to send out yourself. Instagram and Facebook are crawling with videos from their kiddos first Christmas program or screaming babies on Santa’s lap. All experiences that I have longed for.
Check out my article Stop Saying These 7 Things To Women Who Are Struggling With Infertility.
Needless to say, for those who are struggling with infertility, the holidays are extra tough.
1. Don't be afraid to say no
Whether it’s Friendsgiving or the company Christmas party, do not be afraid to say no. There is no need to go to anything that you are not comfortable going to.
My husband and I went to his company Christmas party and while we did have a great time, I spent a good portion of the party fighting back tears. It seemed like everyone was either pregnant or just had a baby.
Prioritize you before everyone else, especially right now! This is not an easy time so why put more stress on yourself when all you have to do is say no and stay home, pour yourself a glass of wine and slip into that bubble bath you have been dying to take.
2. Toss that guilt away
Okay, so you missed the company Christmas party… there is always next year! Don’t let the coworker that works two offices over and has three kids make you feel bad for not attending when they had to find a sitter and were still able to make it. CONGRATULATIONS KAREN. Good for you!
Girl, you be as selfish as you need to be. No one else understands what you have been through. You DO NOT need to explain yourself to anyone else and if they have a problem with the way you are doing the holidays this year then bummer for them. That goes for EVERY situation, family, friends, coworkers, the list goes on.
Do what YOU need to do to get through this time and don’t you dare let anyone make you feel bad about doing that!
3. Be careful when opening the mail
I used to love getting Christmas cards from my friends around the holidays. Even more so when I had my own place because it made it feel like home for whatever reason.
Unfortunately, this Christmas, the holiday cards are just hitting differently. Seeing all the happy families isn’t easy when that is what you have been striving for for so long!!
My advice, don’t open those cards just yet. We love everyone who sends out the cards but for me (and this doesn’t go for everybody), it’s just a reminder on our fridge.
So open them when you are ready to open them (and 9 out of 10 times, you know when it is a Christmas Card in your stack of mail)… even if it’s after the New Year. Do what you feel is right for you.
P.S. to all my amazing friends who HAVE sent Christmas cards… we love them, we really do. The only difference is that this year they aren’t getting the display that I know they deserve. I promise they will be back up next year because with lots of prayers, we hope to be sending them out too. ♥
4. tAKE A SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK
Just like the Christmas card situation, social media is crawling with those perfect family photos and little Carly’s first Christmas Program at church… all of which can be quite triggering when you’re struggling with fertility.
It’s hard to see all the happy, smiling faces when you are longing for what someone (although lately it feels like EVERYONE) already has.
So take a little break from Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (or X I guess is what it is called these days) and read a book, work out, or get your nails done.
Check out my article 20+ Healthy and Fun Ways To Survive The 2 Week Wait for some fun ideas to make the holidays fly by.
5. Take a break from fertility treatments
This one sucks but frankly it is a great idea. I didn’t want to take a break. I was so adamant about keeping the baby train moving but I have to admit (and don’t tell my husband I am saying this) it has been a great break this month.
The holidays are full of emotions for me at this time and so we are taking the time to just be husband and wife and relax because we know we will be starting our journey back up in January.
Fertility treatments are not just hard on your body but hard on your mental health as well. So, whether you have been doing IVF, IUI or any of the many other fertility treatments, take this time to breath. January will be here before you know it and you will be able to start right back up!
YOU GOT THIS GIRL ♥
6. TALK. TALK. TALK.
Anyone who knows me knows that talking is a special talent of mine. One of the reasons I started this blog was to use it as an outlet and to vent.
Take the time this holiday season to talk to your husband, a friend or even a therapist. Mental health is so important so take time to focus on it!!!
My husband is extremely supportive and always listens when I need to vent but sometimes I feel like I am overwhelming him (and I know I am) but he lets me do it anyway. God bless that man ♥
When you feel yourself being weighed down by the pressure of the holidays and the desire to be a parent, talk it out with your partner or someone you know will just sit back and listen. You will be surprised how much just talking helps.
Girl, you got this!
I know the holidays are already stressful enough and adding on the struggles of going through infertility when it seems like everyone around you is full of joy and cheer and all that fa la la la la only makes it harder.
Give these 6 tips a try to help you survive the holiday season this year. You might find that a few of these tips can be utilized even after the holidays have come and gone. Then, come next year, with all the hope in the world, you won’t just be a hopeful mommy anymore because Girl, YOU GOT THIS!
Let me know in the comments if you ended up trying any of these tips and how your holidays ended up going this year! Would love to hear from yall! ♥
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for any medical concerns or questions.
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